If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
