It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
