I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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