Im at strip club and am horny
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
