WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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