Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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