Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
