It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
