i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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