Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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