Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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