Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
