I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
