Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
