Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
