So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize