she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
