I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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