On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
