I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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