It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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