I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
