u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Houston, we have a squirter
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
