but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
