Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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