I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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