He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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