I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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