dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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