I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
