Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
