put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
