Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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