i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
