well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize