STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
