Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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