Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
