If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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