he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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