The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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