Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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