I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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