found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
