I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
