I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
