I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
