She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
