Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
