you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
