Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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