what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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