we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
