every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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