thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
