I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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