we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
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